Clampy Found Unbothered by Current Events
New developments have been found in the missing Peepy case. Clampy, an adolescent malformed Peepy, was spotted at the local card store this morning. He seemed relatively unbothered and kept insisting on buying the new card pack that dropped at 11 a.m. “I don’t wanna talk to the press,” he complained upon our attempt at an interview. “If I roll right, I can get Big Mega Cheese Breadstick in Toast Warriors Supreme.”
It seems as if Toast Warriors Supreme was more important than his missing relatives. The question is, why wasn’t Clampy taken too? Is this descendent of the Peepy familial line far enough removed to not be considered the same species? Was he too oblong to be unrecognizable? Or was his personality too grating to be kidnapped, if that were the case? The answer remains unknown until the whereabouts of Peepies and Ouiouis are found.
“I’m busy right now,” he moaned to our reporters. We managed to bribe him into an interview with a promise of one gifted card pack.
INT: Have you noticed that all the Peepies and Ouiouis we know of have gone missing?
CLAM: What? Huh? I was really focused on my game here. I also need to get more PC parts after this drop.
INT: Do you have any clue as to where they may be, or why you aren’t with them, wherever they are?
CLAM: I dunno. They’re probably just off doing Peepy stuff. My roommate Devilpy disappears a lot, sometimes for days at a time. I really don’t think it’s that big of a deal.
INT: What would you like to say to your missing friends, if they could hear you right now?
CLAM: HELL yes, dude! Look! Big Mega Cheese Breadstick! WOOOOOOOOO!!!!